Evens are Odds: May 2014

Fly

"I Believe I Can Fly" GIRL: Hey, uh I--" GUY: "Hi! Ok, I'm actually glad you came over here..." ~ GUY cont. : "Sorry for interrupting you just there, by the by, but I'm afraid I might lose my nerve. Yeah, ok, here goes..." ~ "Now, you may have noticed me hanging around here recently..." ~ "And, well, I mean the new 'Amazing Spiderman' is out and, I mean..." ~ "You seem really nice, and, well, what I'm trying to ask is, well, I mean, I hope it's not too forward--" GIRL: "Um, actually, I think maybe I should stop you there." ~ GIRL "You see, I uh, actually just came over here to tell you that your fly is open. Like, like gaping..."

Don't worry, this is only almost based on a true story...

Bark

*bear enters campsite* TEDDY: "Whoa, ok, stay calm. This is pretty standard procedure: He just smells the food. Stand up big as you can & make loud, unnatural noises." ~ "Basically, pretend you're not afraid, and try to seem as formidable as possible. Just relax - I've got this." *Teddy blows nose loudly, and bear runs away.

I would ask how to onomatopoeiaize blowing one's nose, but I think I'd first have to query how to verb onomatopoeia...

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