Causality

TEDDY: "Why is it that my pants always ALL catastrophically fail at the exact same time?!" ALLISON: "Because every time they do, you avoid doing anything about it for ABSOLUTELY as long as possible, before finally breaking down & making 1 trip to Goodwill, where you buy essentially another 5 versions of the same pair of jeans, ALL AT THE SAME TIME." ~ TEDDY: "No, that's far too logical: I'm gonna go with "The whole universe is against me"...

Hey, I still have like two pairs of pants that don't (quite) show off my boxers in public, so I'd say I'm still good for a bit... 

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