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"Initially gaining recognition as the second most orange presidential candidate, Pumpkin Dumbledore is actually rising steadily in the polls after last night's debate: It seems being inanimate was actually an advantage here, many undecided voters saying they found the silences punctuating his time for response to be a 'welcome relief' to the discourse we've come to expect from the major party candidates. "In other news, in a rare instance of advocacy, the secret service has expressed concerns about the botanical candidate, though it is worth mention they have already been seen to be making discrete inquiries with the nations leading preservation specialists..." |
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