Evens are Odds: February 2017

Ownership

*Man wearing "DEPLORABLE and PROUD" gear yelling at protesters "Get a job, SNOWFLAKE!" * TEDDY: "All things considered, when you figure the oppositional terms thrown about that WE CAN CHOOSE TO RECONCILE OURSELVES W/, our side really doesn't have it that bad..."

Because not only does choosing to be utterly unoffended at being called "Snowflake" as a slur make a decided step toward disproving its sentiment, it allows you to fully appreciate what a laughably bizarre derogatory it really is...

Athleticism II

*Teddy lining a large sheet of plywood up to a table saw in the middle of an Olympic field* ~ ANNOUNCER 1:"...rejoining us now for Theodor Dukkins, a surprising young upstart in these games, attempting a 96" x 57" rip..." ANNOUNCER 2:"--That's right Jim: If he's successful here, that will be a new WORLD RECORD for the Men's Solo 3/4"-Ply OLYMPIC TABLE SAW. You have to realize, once we get into these sizes, you're talking a seriously heavy slab of wood." ANNOUNCER 1:"--That may be Chip, but he's not exactly a small guy either, and we're going to be looking for him to use every bit of that extra reach on this cut--OH! Bit of binding there as he struggles to keep it on the fence: We'll have to see what the judges make of that, could be a deduction!.."

Amature move sacrificing fence accuracy for size...

...Everyone knows its all about cut tolerance!..

Connotation

"ERUDITE:" "(er-y-dit) adj. [La. Eruditus]" "A stodgy, imperious, NEEDLESSLY-highfalutin word describing something stodgy, imperious, and NEEDLESSLY-highfalutin..."

Alright, so maybe I'm colouring this interpretation a bit more than is entirely called for, but I think I'm more than justified in cracking up at all the heated debate over how you properly pronounce the word, accompanied almost invariably with at least some attempt at a pun regarding which pronunciation represents the most erudition...